Alone
by WalkingWit
Summary: The Doctor is truly alone for the first time in ages after Rory and Amy leave. He reminisces about his past companions, dwelling far too long on the one he wants to forget more than anything. He can't though, because she's a perfect ghost, haunting him.


**This is my first DW story, though I've been a fan for ages. I own nothing at all. If I did, the sonic screwdriver would still be blue and Donna would have kept her memory. I found it kind of odd that old companions aren't mentioned very often. I don't mean actually seeing them, but a mention would be nice. To be honest, Donna was my favorite companion, but Rory is also up there. I like Rose at times, but other times she annoys me. I find the others favorable in general.**

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**Alone**

The Doctor was truly alone for the first time in years. He watched the door swing closed as Amy and Rory left him, for good. It had been a wonderful few years, travelling, but they wanted to start a family. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He would miss the Ponds (as he liked to call them) terribly. They eased the pain and lonliness he had felt after his latest regeneration. He sat down at the console, running a hand through his hair. He poked at a few buttons, wanting to just be in orbit for a while. At least he knew that he would visit them. Amy had rather forcefully expressed that desire.

"_Oh, my Raggedy Doctor," she sniffed, hugging him tightly._

_"Amelia," he said lightly, hugging back._

_"You'd better visit, alright? Don't make me come looking for you," she pulled away from the hug, eyes threatening._

_The Doctor laughed, "Of course."_

_He turned to Rory, who was wiping the stray tears from his cheek._

_"Rory," he said softly._

_Rory hugged him, lingering a moment._

_"Thank you," he whispered in the Doctor's ear._

_The Doctor nodded, pulling away and shaking Rory's hand._

_"Take of yourself Doctor," Amy said, Rory nodding in agreement. His arm was wrapped securely around her waist. She trembled slightly, as did Rory._

_"I'll see you again, Ponds," the Doctor promised._

_They gave him more goodbyes as they exited the TARDIS one last time. _

The Doctor smiled slightly. They had such a wonderful future ahead of them. They fit together perfectly. Kind, patient, humble Rory and fiery, stubborn Amy were quite a match. Amy had become so involved in the Doctor and travelling that Rory had fallen by the wayside without her even realising it. Nevertheless, she loved Rory deeply, a love she never had for the Doctor. Rory waited for Amy for 2,000 years, protecting her. And her, she was so trusting. Too trusting. Sure, she asked questions incessentally without knowing the limit, but she meant well. She believed the best in him. The Doctor's smile faltered. He had put them through so much, but they persevered.

Amy's fiery attitude only made him think of Donna. His heart ached upon remembering his best friend. She was so funny, stubborn, and so full of life. He understood her initial refusal, but was so happy that she had joined him in the end. She grew so much and held her own against him, only to forget all about him. He grinned upon remembering seeing each other across a room as they were both spying. Of course, they got caught, but it was instances like that that made him really admire her. He couldn't hear anyone say "space man" without thinking of his red-headed friend. She had been so happy at her wedding. He wanted nothing more than to give her a hug and congratulate her, but knew he couldn't. Wilf had been at his side, unsure of what to do.

Before Donna Noble, Martha Jones travelled with him. How she ended up working for UNIT could only be blamed on him. He knew she had married Mickey the Idiot. He chuckled lightly at the nickname he had given Mickey when he was still old big ears. The Doctor wandered through the TARDIS, letting its hum soothe him. Martha was so brilliant, a doctor in her own right. She was fearless and brave. His grin broadened when he remembered her shock upon Shakespeare's adoration of her. Martha deserved nothing but the best, and he was sure Mickey could make her happy. He was still befuddled at the match, but love was love.

The Doctor stopped in front of a door. He took a deep breath, willing himself to walk past it. Late at night, when Rory and Amy were safely sleeping, he would always stop in front of this damned, bloody door. He was surprised Amy never found him sitting there, a lost look on his face, face tear-stained. He smiled wryly to himself. His hand automatically went to the doorknob. Before he knew it, it swung open, revealing _her_ room. It looked as if she had never left. Oh, how he liked to pretend that she was only out for a cuppa with her mum, and that she'd be back later. The pink walls seemed to close in on him, making the room seem smaller. Her clothes were strewn about the room messily, her perfume resting on the dresser. He walked into the middle of the room, not daring to touch anything. He smiled sadly at the pictures of her with him, he wearing a leather jacket. Another picture featured the pair of them sitting in front of the TARDIS, his hair a wild mess and her hair perfectly glowing. Mickey had taken that picture if he recalled collectly. She had loved him when he had big ears and a serious aversion to emotions. Hell, she had bought bananas specifically for him. She swallowed the heart of TARDIS for him. She had saved him in so many ways. She still loved him when he was bonkers, bouncing off the walls with his hair sticking up everywhich way and him tasting everything.

He fought the cry prickling the back of his throat as best he could. "Rose Tyler," he croaked shakily. His last words to her. The image of her kissing his clone, his human double, on Bad Wolf Bay haunted his dreams. Before he knew it, he walked away, leaving her once again. He tried so hard to be reunited with her, but every time, like a bloody fool, he abandoned her. He had no reason to love her as much as he did. She was just a human, after all. Too human. Too caring, too happy to see the beauty in the simplest of things, too devoted, too passionate. He missed the way her tongue stuck out between her teeth when she gave him one of her smiles. He was a glutton for punishment, going to see her before he regenerated. He told her it would be a good year. He meant it, and he wanted to see her smile one last time. He supposed that those were his last words to her. She helped him when he felt defeated, right after the Time War. She didn't judge him, she didn't prod. She loved. And now, she loved _her_ Doctor. Her Doctor would age with her, take care of her, and love her. He would never leave her. The Doctor figured it was proper that way. She deserved a family. She probably already had one. Blond, wide-eyed, eccentric little children. A boy would have wild spikes. Yes, that made sense. He had nothing to offer Rose except certain death. He had lost track of how old he even was. She needed someone reliable and steady, not him. She had her family in Pete's World, in that godforesaken parallel universe that had taken her away from him.

He glanced about the room one more time, slowly exiting. He had wanted to forget her. No matter how hard he tried, his thoughts always went back to Rose. Sometimes Amy said something so very _Rose _that he couldn't help but retreat and close himself off. Rory had sensed it more than Amy had. Rory was sensitive. The Doctor was pretty sure that Rory knew. Sometimes he would catch Rory looking at him with a pitying look whenever he would return from Rose's room. Oh yes, Rory was very perceptive.

Rose Tyler would always follow him wherever he went, and he was growing accustomed to the idea that she was a permanent fixture in his memory, in his brain. He no longer wanted to go find a slightly younger Rose and kidnap her, but he still wanted to find a crack in the universe to find her. He shook his head, realising how ridiculous he was. She had her own life now. All she could be for him was a haunting memory-like a ghost of perfect blond hair and smiling eyes.

He walked back to the console, punching in some coordinates. Rory and Amy would be surprised to see him fulfill his promise so quickly. He suddenly paused. Maybe he should go pay the Smiths a visit, or Captain Jack, before seeing the Ponds.

"Allons-y," he said quietly for the first time in ages. He pulled a lever, sending the TARDIS into orbit.

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**Hello, all. I honestly have no idea where this came from. I just started writing. I hope it was enjoyable. Please review.**


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